hello my fellow fallible human
my name
is Tanya McIntyre and this is the Red
Roof recovery show, a program to
offer solutions to recover from mental
health issues including addictions
Like we like to say, “It’s not just for
addictions it’s for life!”
and I’m joined by my best friend and
business partner I like to call him sir
Lance is bringing a family
perspective to our business.
He lived with me for more
than two decades of my drug and alcohol
so I love that he brings the
family perspective to our conversations
he can give his perspective of a family
member of a loved one who’s affected by
Lance is a valued resource to
family members whose loved ones are
still struggling with addictions
He shares his experience empathy and
effective communication tools that can
actually motivate your loved one to seek
help sooner rather than later
We offer
thoughtful conversation here every few
weeks about a variety of recovery topics
You’ll hear science based
approaches to build a life beyond
addiction – a life you won’t need to
escape from.
On this episode of The
Red Roof recovery show we are going to
talk about the latest Trend. We
are we are recording this in February of
2023 and the trend is now full steam
ahead …it’s become a multi-billion dollar
industry …and we’re talking about alcohol
free beverages
So what do you find um
wrong with that trend? surely getting
people away from alcohol would be
something we should celebrate maybe well
I think it’s yeah there’s a few elements
that are worth talking about here uh I
think it is celebratory that our society
is starting to recognize the importance
of having an alternative to alcohol in
in places and events where people are
socializing because
um I’ve often heard the term and I say
it myself the opposite of addiction is
connection so the fact that we uh crave
social connection and the most uh social
connection available revolves around
consuming alcohol it’s really good I
think that we’re seeing this trend
I think the danger might lie uh where
it’s a slippery slope for instance for
me someone who’s in recovery from drug
and alcohol addictions
I’ll give you an example
um I used to have virgin Caesars because
I liked the fancy glass and I liked the
celery or whatever they were putting in
there it’s like a little mini meal
and someone in a meeting said that they
had ordered emergencies or on a really
busy night something like New Year’s Eve
and when the bartenders get busy right
they can make mistakes and it was
received with alcohol in it so a shot of
vodka in a Caesar and when the person
had a sip and realized there was a shot
of vodka in it
the pattern of thinking what we call the
stink and thinking brain
said oh it’s just one I can have just
one and they drank it
and the experience is of course yep you
might be able to have just one that
night and then the next day or in a
couple of days you might think oh I got
away with just one I can have just
another one and then as we know from our
experience that my addictions at least
were Progressive over time and we can
fall into that pattern of thinking that
we think that we can moderate it now we
think oh maybe I’m cured so there is the
risk that you will end up with a virgin
something that is not a virgin and you
will drink it anyway thinking ah I can
have just one
so do you do you think the um
calling something a virgin a virgin
Caesar a virgin mojito
something like that
do they do that just for convenience or
is it
it bolsters something in your psyche
to say I’m not outside the norm
absolutely I think it does and I’m a
pretty good example of that New Year’s
Eve you may remember when we were
together with the family in a very
celebratory environment on New Year’s
uh we ordered virgin Mojitos because you
know it comes with a little sprig of
mint and it looks fancy it comes in one
of those nice little uh cocktail uh
Flutie things a slender beverage glass
so it looks nice it looks celebratory
and you fit in it’s very much about
connecting and fitting in with the crowd
well I can understand that I I remember
coming back from Spain and going out
with some of my old work partners
just for afternoons drink to catch up
and at the end of the session we were
leaving and I got my car keys out and
they said you can’t be driving
I said why not
and they said well you’ve been drinking
all afternoon I said yeah I’ve been
drinking non-alcoholic beer and no one
had noticed
so I was fitting in they all went
drinking fake beer and I did that for a
number of years
not really enjoying the taste that much
because it didn’t really taste like beer
and I got to the point where on New
Year’s Eve I went out and I had a apple
was it outside or not for having an
apple juice or would I have been seen as
the designated driver if someone looks
do we have to get to the point where
it doesn’t really matter or do we get to
the point where we name the
non-alcoholic drinks
something that’s not associated with the
alcoholic drink so there can be no you
know no mistake about a bartender
and all wood yeah if you ordered one of
them would you be seen as not fitting in
which seems to be the biggest driver for
this type of behavior well I think we
are seeing
um a trend to alcohol free I know in
places like Florida for instance
um they are having sobar Knights
s-o-b-a-r so it’s an actual sober night
where everybody there is not drinking
and the bartenders are there just
creating uh mocktails I think a famous
person just wrote a mocktail book a
recipe book I’m not sure of the details
but it is a growing Trend absolutely I
think we’re going to see more and more
people seeing that it is a viable and
very profitable industry and we’re going
to see the market respond
I I can say that and also I mean if
you’re going to a sober
then you are in like with like-minded
people so you you’re not going to stand
out actually if you walked in and asked
for an alcoholic drink you would stand
out so you wouldn’t go there but for the
main part you are possibly going to get
these institutions pop up
to cater for this but most restaurants
bars and it will stay alcoholic
I don’t think there’s any doubt about
so I think the point that we have to get
to is the point where
you don’t have to feel outside of the
the norm
if you’re not drinking
and I think creating atmosphere is like
so bar like the trend is growing in
Florida apparently
that it’s held in what is normally a
sports bar so through the week it’s a
normal sports bar you go in and they’ve
got big screen TVs all over the walls
and dart boards and pool tables but one
night specifically is dedicated to be a
so bar and then on the big screen TVs
there are affirmations
positive sentiments which I think is a
wonderful Trend uh so again you’re in
you’re in the environment of feeling
like you’re in a sports bar but you’re
not really in a sports bar because
you’re being surrounded by positive
affirmations on the big screen and uh
alcohol-free bar I think it’s a great
idea I still prefer the sports on the
TVs of course you would
yes yeah well you and you were the kind
of person who can go and have an
alcohol-free beer and not think any
anything about it right it’s like okay
I’m gonna be driving so I’m just going
to have this alcohol-free beer to sit
with my mates and feel included in
whatever I don’t even do that anymore
you don’t no no it’s
it was as you say at that time I didn’t
want to stand out from a crowd
but I’ve been alcohol free now for quite
a while as well
if someone has a problem with that or
thinks they’re strange and that that’s
their problem not mine
yeah I do in the summertime have a non
or non-alcoholic rattler
from a company that I which is basically
lava and lemon juice
and it’s very refreshing and it’s very
tasty and it because it’s not supposed
to taste like beer
you know it’s fine it’s a refreshing
drink it’s a great summer drink it’s not
an alcoholic which is great
non-alcoatic beer just doesn’t taste
like beer so what is the point apart
from masquerading as something
just to fit in
and that brings us that we can segue
into our closing comments from that
because it’s important I think to ask
our motivation for wanting to have it
yeah very much so yeah
and I think having the getting to the
point where
where you don’t need social acceptance
to do something that’s good for you
is the point that we’re all striving
yeah and as cognitive behavioral therapy
teaches me
um it’s always to ask the question uh
there’s a good tool that we use
play the tape so for instance if I’m
going to an environment where people are
imbibing alcohol and I’m I’m going to
order a virgin mojito or a virgin Caesar
or whatever
ask the question what’s motivating me to
do it and if it comes to me and has
alcohol in it will I drink it
play that tape
you know do you trust yourself enough to
not drink it
so ask keep asking questions just ask
those questions play the tape forward to
the possibilities and know thyself right
all the questions all the answers to the
questions we’re looking for live within
us so direct that rational analysis
inward which is where none of us want to
yeah it’s difficult asking them
questions of yourself
it’s a very difficult place to go it is
it’s a lifelong journey
it is a journey of and I’ve stopped
calling it a journey of recovery it’s a
journey of Discovery because a life
beyond addictions truly is
um a life of Serenity and peace
and I’m loving it and that’s why I’m so
passionate around sharing it and
encouraging people that recovery doesn’t
take long it takes a persistent
willingness to exert consistent efforts
to help yourself
and there are literally hundreds of
tools that you can use to manage
recovery and life the key my favorite
acronym keep educating yourself to find
something that works for you and then do
more of it every day
sounds good to me
thank you my darling
appreciate everything you do
thank you
for being in my life
thank you and thank you
listener for hanging in there with us
we really appreciate you and if you’ve
gotten something from anything we said
please share it with your loved ones
remember there’s great power in knowing
that the only thing we can control in
life is ourselves and remember to talk
to yourself like you talk to your best
friend May the force be with you and
remember you
you are the force.

auto-generated transcript from YouTube